Beauty Break ProblemsPosted: June 3, 2014
The days are longer. Temperatures are rising. Vacations are starting. And I think we all know just exactly what that means.
The dreaded driveway bath season has begun. I was forced to endure my first humiliating driveway bath of the year this past weekend. Honestly, is there anything more embarrassing? I tried my very best to look as dignified as I possibly could . . . under the circumstances . . . but I could feel the stares and hear the laughter of the neighbors as they walked and bicycled by.
I even tried to close my eyes and make myself invisible, but I don’t think it worked.
Now, my human mommy tries to convince me that the driveway bath is even harder on her than it is on me. She says that bending over and sudsing me up really hurts her back. She says that I have a tendency to inch away from her, so she keeps having to pull me back. She says that I have a very bad habit of shaking and spraying water all over her. And then she complains about having to wash all of my beds and towels after the humiliating driveway bath has ended.
Really, Mommy? Really? Try standing in the middle of the driveway naked looking like a wet rat with suds all over you while neighbors stop and gawk . . . and then we’ll talk. Until then, I know exactly how we can solve all of our beauty break problems. As of this very moment, I, Miss Harper Lee, am calling on all of my friends from all around the world to join me in a driveway bath boycott. Are you with me?