If Dogs Were Decorators

Decorator Dog thek9harperlee

My friends at BarkBox recently ran a brilliant post on their BarkPost blog called “If Dogs Were Contractors: 7 Ingenious Ideas for a Pup-Friendly Home.” (Click here to check out their creative home and backyard design ideas.) My construction skills are slightly lacking, but I started wondering . . . if dogs were decorators, what little changes would we make to our homes to suit or special needs and desires? Here are just a few of my ideas.

Decorator 1 thek9harperlee

1. If dogs were decorators, we would make all human beds close enough to the ground so we could jump up any time we want and take a nice comfy nap.

My humans have a bed that is very, very far off of the ground. My human mommy even has a little set of steps to help her get into the bed. And if my mommy needs a bit of help getting into the human bed, you can just imagine how impossible it is for me to jump up there any old time I’d like. I have to wait for my humans to give me a lift, and sadly friends that doesn’t happen nearly as often as I’d like. If I were a decorator, I would drop that bed down about half a foot. No, come to think of it, I’d just put the mattress right there smack dab down on the floor. And just try to keep me off of that comfy-yet-somehow-forbidden sleeping spot then, humans.

Decorator 2 thek9harperlee

2. If dogs were decorators, we would replace all exits to the back yard with revolving doors.

Now this is one that I think even the humans could buy in to, but let me give you a dog’s perspective. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have to wait for a human to open the door every single time we want to go out? And then we decide to come back in, and we have to hear all that human complaining about having to get up and open the door. And then we decide to go back out, and we have to hear all that human complaining about having to get up and open the door. And then we want to come in again, and we have to hear all that human complaining about having to get up and open the door. Well, you get the idea. Just imagine the bliss for everyone involved if we had a revolving door: Dogs go in and out at will, and humans stay seated doing whatever it is they do when they plop themselves down inside. True, there is the risk of an occasional dog tracking massive amounts of mud into the house, or even carrying in disgusting and unrecognizable carcasses of who-knows-what varmint, but that’s a pretty small price to pay for everyone’s happiness, right?

Decorator 3 thek9harperlee

3. And while we’re talking about doors, if dogs were decorators all doors at the front of the house would have full-length glass and that glass would be clear.

Let’s face it, a whole lot of really interesting stuff happens outside of our front doors. Other dogs walk back and forth and back and forth and back and forth . . . just tormenting those of us who are stuck inside. And don’t even get me started on those people from the postal service, FedEx, and UPS. They have the nerve to walk right up to the front door . . . and even ring the bell. Then there are all those things that our humans tell us we’re just imagining . . . but we know they’re out there, right dogs? Now I’ll admit that I’m slightly lucky on this one. My favorite door at the front of my house does have full-length glass, but the glass has some really weird ridges and stuff that totally distort my view. If I were a decorator, I would insist that my humans replace that funny ridgy glass with crystal clear smooth glass so that I could plainly see every single thing that happens in front of my house. Some obnoxious barking might happen, but that is a small price for the humans to pay for my happiness.

Decorator 4 thek9harperlee

4. Finally, if dogs were decorators all furniture would be covered at all times with dog sheets.

I don’t know about your house, but at my house human furniture is off-limits to me . . . unless of course my humans open the special drawer, pull out what we call “the dog sheet,” spread that magic sheet on the couch, and then invite me to join them for an evening of pure joy. Can you imagine a world where all furniture was covered at all times with dog sheets and dogs could hop up and enjoy said furniture at any old time? Without special preparation and an invitation? I’ll give you just a moment to think about that. Pretty incredible, right?

So if you’re a dog, what decorating touches would you add to your house to make it the perfect home?

And humans, what decorating touches have you so far resisted that you just know would make your dog even happier?

Or, perhaps I should put it this way humans: What decorating touches could you add that would make your home completely and totally go to the dogs?


28 Comments on “If Dogs Were Decorators”

  1. Cinnamon says:

    You have some great ideas Miss Harper.
    My mom just wants me to stop sloshing my water all over
    the kitchen floor. Poor thing has to mop it up everyday.
    But it beats drinking toilet water. BOL.

  2. Great ideas, Miss HL. I’m especially on board about the clear glass door. I’m DYING to see what’s going on out there. I’d also design a really low garbage can with NO LID.

    Love and licks,

  3. Miss Harper Lee, we have a pet door at our home so the babies can mostly go whenever they like into the back yard and we don’t have sheets for the furniture. I am thinking that maybe the babies over here might be just a tad spoiled because they get to where they want even the sofa and the big bed……..hmnnnn…..

  4. Excellent, excellent ideas Miss HL!! We especially like your bed and couch ideas. We are FORBIDDEN (yes, you read right) to go upstairs which is where the Big Bed is. In fact, we’ve never even SEEN the Big Bed, let alone been allowed up on it! As for the couch / furniture situation in our house, it is exactly the same as yours. We’re only allowed up when the special couch blanket is on *HURRUMPH*
    Wally & Sammy

    • I have an idea boys: If our humans are going to forbid us from certain places in the house, I say we forbid them from sleeping on our beds. Well, it seemed like a good idea when I first thought of it. 😉

  5. I think our houses would look very much alike! The mattress on the floor is sheer brilliance. Our couch and loveseat is always covered in dog sheets. Yay! Great post ♥

  6. Those are good ideas. Hmmm what would the brown dawgs add? Maybe never ending food dispenser. 🙂

  7. Miss Harper Lee our Mom wants a glass door for the front door when she can afford one because she would like Mazie to be able to look out all the time, not only when she is home and can leave it open and just have the storm door there. Also Mom thinks there should be automatic waterers that circulate. If Mom had her way our house wouldn’t have as many steps so that Mazie wouldn’t have as many to get up to the bedroom as she gets older here. Last Mom REALLY wants Grandpa to put a kitty door onto the sunporch for us! Long wish list, maybe next year we can get the doors 🙂

  8. KDKH says:

    My dogs requested – and received- dog beds in our large tile bathroom so they can lounge someplace snugly while they watch us shower, brush our teeth, and get ready in the mornings. The cats even borrow the beds occasionally.

    • Excellent! I’m putting my request in for a bathroom bed immediately! I love to join my humans in the bathroom as they prepare for the day. They say that one day they’re going to break a hip stepping over me in there. Hope they’re dressed when that happens!

  9. Emmadog says:

    All windows would need to be low to the ground so we could see out, and Mom always says we should have a revolving door to the backyard too.

  10. cafall says:

    BOL – yes to everything but the glass front doors – our pups have super hearing and already let us know what is going on out front. I think that would double if they could actually see it.

    Monty and Harlow

  11. What I want more than anything is doggy fridge access! They’re hiding all the good stuff in there!

  12. carraig1 says:

    Lower counters so Grady wouldn’t have to work so hard to steal my lunch.

  13. Jan K says:

    Revolving door!! YES!!!
    We are lucky that we also have a front door with full length glass, and we put that in with the dogs in mind. We also have a dog couch in front of some windows, and the new windows on the porch are full length as well. I guess our dogs did get to chime in on the decorating! 🙂

    • My humans built a house once and they specifically made all the windows low enough so that their dogs at the time could have a good view. I’m so lucky to have such well-trained humans. 🙂

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