Vacuums Are a Girl’s Best FriendPosted: September 2, 2016
On the silver screen, Miss Marilyn Monroe proclaimed that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Clearly Miss Monroe did not live with a couple of Golden Retrievers. If the did, she would have known that vacuums are a girl’s best friend. So, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to my human mommy’s favorite appliance . . . pictured here with the reason she needs it.
There is no end to the amount of Golden hair that collects on every surface, in every corner, everywhere in our house. It was manageable when I was an only dog. And then along came Tallulah Bee, also known as The Shedding Machine. Mommy’s friend sent her this cute little saying to try to make her feel better. (Any wonder that something about shedding includes a picture of a Golden Retriever?) It sounded nice, but Mommy wasn’t buying it. What she did end up buying was the Hoover Commercial PortaPower vacuum. You’ve never seen anyone get so excited about an appliance.
Mommy whipped that thing out of the box and started vacuuming everything–floors, furniture, shutters, lampshades, tabletops. Tallulah looked at me and said, “Oh my goodness, Harper Lee. Is Mommy going to vacuum us, too?” “There’s no telling,” I told her. “Just keep moving.” Thus began Mommy’s daily ritual of vacuuming. Occasionally, I’ll hear Mommy sing out, “This thing really sucks.” I think in this case, that’s a good thing.
At first the daily ritual was a bit unnerving, mostly due to Mommy’s unnatural and unbridled joy as she practically danced with Mr. Hoover from one end of the house to the other. Honestly, friends, it was borderline frightening. But after a couple of days, my little sister and I learned to accept Mommy’s obsession, and now she has to wake us up so she can get every inch of the floor . . . or she just works around us.
Mommy even vacuums our beds, which tends to disturb a girl’s sun puddle naps.
The other day, as Mommy waltzed through the room with Mr. Hoover, I caught Tallulah making this cheeky face behind her back. “Hahaha! Try as you might, Mommy, you’ll never ever get rid of all the Golden hair,” Tallulah teased.
“That’s ok,” I told Tallulah. “I found this little saying on Mommy’s computer the other day. I think she’s secretly thankful for all of our hair. Maybe she’s just using Mr. Hoover to collect it and put it in a special place because she love us so much.”