I Was Tricked, Again

Trick 1 thek9harperlee

Yesterday was Halloween, the day that dogs everywhere dread more than any other day of the year. It’s bad enough that we have to endure October walks through neighborhoods booby trapped with spooky decorations. Then, as soon as the sun sets on Halloween day, that doorbell starts ringing. And every time the door opens, there’s a pack of tiny ghosts and goblins yelling something that I still can’t quite understand. But wait; it gets worse. Humans insist on making Halloween an even more scary experience for dogs all around the world: They simply cannot allow us to get through the day without putting us into some sort of humiliating costume, and then they have to take pictures of our extreme humiliation. That’s why I was more than a little surprised when I woke up yesterday and my human mommy pulled out my Halloween bandana for our morning walk. Not bad, I thought to myself. My Halloween bandana is classy and understated. If this is all I have to do this year, I think I can handle Halloween. What a treat!

Trick 2 thek9harperlee

As it turns out, I was tricked . . . again. When we got home from our morning walk, Mommy started pulling out the costumes. At first she thought I should be a cowgirl. Thanks to a very creative friend from Texas, I now have a lovely pink Stetson. I must say that I think I look pretty good in it. The only problem is that Mommy has yet to find four pink cowgirl boots in my size, so that costume may have to wait for next year. Suddenly I started having flashbacks to last Halloween, when my treat of a day turned into something super tricky and I was transformed into a jack-o-lantern. What in the world did Mommy have in mind for me this year? Would it be as bad as last year?

Trick 3 thek9harperlee

I’m at a loss for words. Last night, I got to be a Halloween hula girl. I cannot begin to tell you how difficult it was to attempt to strike a dignified pose while sporting this little number. Where do I start? Let’s begin with the fit. I could have used some alterations. My large costume was a little short on me last year, so this year’s costume was an extra large. Let’s just say I don’t have what it takes to fill out that top. I mean, really, do I look like a Great Dane, or a St. Bernard, or a Bull Mastiff? What in the world was Mommy thinking when she bought this thing in an extra large? A wardrobe malfunction was all but a certainty. I may or may not have ended the evening topless. I’ll just leave you to your imagination on that.

Trick 4 thek9harperlee

So there you have it. Another humiliating Halloween has come and gone, and once again I was tricked. I just want my humans to know that all will be forgiven if this giant bucket can be my new dinner bowl, at least for one night!